we need to talk about ...

I thought you wouldn't forget, of all you would be the one who remain true. I thought you wouldn't leave me. I thought I was the victim but it was me who left, It was me who walked away and left you.
It was me who hurt you.

And all along I thought you were the one hurting me. 

Quiero

"(...)Me canse de mi propia ambigüedad, quiero ser algo definido

Quiero pensar, quiero ser tonta, quiero ser una intelectual, quiero ser superficial, quiero linda ropa, quiero un amplio gusto musical, quiero conocimiento, quiero fiestas, quiero divertirme, quiero cambiar el mundo, quiero viajar,  quiero verlo todo, quiero expresarme sin miedo, quiero tocar el piano, quiero saber latín, quiero ir al cine, quiero hacer patín, quiero leer, quiero ser editora o historiadora, quiero ver el mundo fuera del escaparate, y no morir en el intento. Quiero tener a alguien al lado, quiero una historia trágica,  quiero tener algo que contar, quiero ropa, maquillaje y accesorios, quiero zapatos, pulseras y anillos. Quiero entender a Freud, quiero saber de los zares de Rusia, quiero entender a Stalin y hasta a Hitler o Mussolini, quiero aprender la historia de China y su cultura también, quiero visitar Vietnam, pasear por Sierra leona y no llorar(...)"

14 de Agosto del 2010

It's been awhile since I cry myself to sleep.

I'm going back to where I started.

They are my boys, knowing they are destroying their lives....it kills me.

A veces la realidad pega... y duele.

Why do they all eat my mind like a pack man??

Why can't you just leave me alone??? 

please, please, just leave, stop existing.

How do you tell the story if there is no story to tell?

What happened? It was my fault, wasn't it? I ruined it, I know. I knew what I was doing I did it anyway. I'm sorry, but it's too late now even if you think otherwise.

He's so sweet, I never thought I'll fall for that.
I'm leaving him and he's telling me he needs me, and he's so fucking sweet.
He's a playboy,  he's liar. He's good.

There's nothing I'd like to have more than your mind, just your mind

Bombea sangre, pero no late.
Tiene oxigeno, pero no respira.
¿Es automático?
¿Es simple?
¿Es complicado?
¿Qué es?
Un mar de nebulosa, eso es, nada es, nada tangible y sin embargo, ahí esta

¿Cómo se despierta uno después de años dormido?

-Cansado, confundido y solo.

Cuando ya no quedan mas palabras que silencios incómodos...

tal vez ya no vale la pena decir nada.

No todas las tormentas tienen lluvia 

ni todas las hojas en blanco

tienen un futuro escrito

and I have become .... a heartless b*tch

Sometimes people put up walls..... just because

Sometimes people put up walls, not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down

think?

I don't wanna hide anymore. 

I wanna say the true, be honest. 

I don't want to pretend.

I wanna stop being a coward and start saying what I think, what I feel, what I think I feel